"My car's got a knob in it"

Nick "At least I've got a knob" Ikin

 

"Goonhilly !"

Jim "I've got hold of the the wrong end of the wrong stick from the wrong tree (probably from the wrong planet)" Eales to Colin after Colin called him 'Jodrell'.

 

"I hope they don't start calling me Dim Eales!"

Dim Eales after being told that Jim Davies was sometimes known as Dim Javies.

 

"There used to be lots of Ian 'W's around - Ian Whitelaw... Ian Hale..."

Ian "What 'W' am I"

 

"That seems to be a cock-handed way of doing it"

Ian "I've cacked that up" Wynands

 

"I can always find something to fiddle about with."

Ian 'Whiplash' Wynands

 

"I'm fine."

Ian arriving at work after his car crash.

 

"I've got a sore neck."

Ian, on the same morning, after being told about whiplash and insurance claims.

 

"There once was a young man called Leigh, Who went to University to get an MSc," [and so on]

Ace the limerick man

 

Is that the Leigh Morgan from Wales who went to a place where everyone thought that they were as hard as nails ? (Thanks Ian)

 

"West Ham are the tastiest boys around"

Col "Finger Licking" Saunders

 

"It's no different to childbirth."

Dave, on vasectomy.

 

"What do you mean ? I was in early this morning!"

Weasel Wasp-Innards after being called a retard.

 

"Nick knows how to behave himself, he seems quite mature and sensible.  But if Ian calls me 'Nicky' once more, I'm going to hit him."

Nicci

 

"I'm a bit worried - I don't seem to have upset Crow yet !"

Ralph "P45 Time" Dadswell on the very day that he upset Crow by pissing off early.

 

"It's going to be a pig's ear of a mess"

Ren

 

"Are they the ones that taste orangey??"

Ian of Orange Flavour Kit-Kats

 

"I don't know how to spell Jaffa except that I know it's not like Jaffa oranges"

Ralphy when discussing Dave's seedless state.

 

"I hate Technical Services and they know it"

Dave